His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
