"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize