She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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