She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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