are you so shy because you have an std?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
