I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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