Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
