I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
