What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
