Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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