and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
