he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
