Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
