I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
