Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
