I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
