Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
