I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize