I think I am morally bankrupt
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
