I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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