i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There's always time for handjobs
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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