yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
