how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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