she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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