Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
