Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
