what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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