I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
