you guys were way drunker than both of me
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
