So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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