my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
