my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
being pregnant is like rehab
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
