It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
