dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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