her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
When are your genitals available?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
