The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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