My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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