you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
