Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
