I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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