Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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