I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
