i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
