"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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