I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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