I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize