Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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