This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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