The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
