a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
