If that was your dad, he is hot
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
organizing the empties. That sober.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
