forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
