Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
