I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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