Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
stop calling my apartment porn island.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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