He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
my liver is dry heaving
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
