I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize