don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
