i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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