how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
