I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
