somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize