guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just pee around me
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
