glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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