just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
