I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
