I'm so fucking centered right now
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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