so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
