Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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