I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
