Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
