That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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