I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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