we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
