if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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