I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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